Reunited
by walroose
Summary: A take on the events of the last two episodes of the anime and slightly beyond, focusing on Kaoru's feelings on finding Sentarou again.


**Hello! This takes place right at/after the end of the anime. I haven't read the manga, so it might conflict with it, I don't know, and sorry if it does. In any case, please enjoy!**

**Reunited**

* * *

I found him on the rooftop and held him against me, so that he didn't have to show me his tears if he didn't want to. I felt his tears wetting my shirt, felt his whole body wracking with sobs, felt his arm on my back, clutching at my shirt like it was the only thing keeping him anchored to this world. Tears ran down my own face; a few drops landed on the top of his head, getting lost in his hair. I don't think I've ever, not before and not after, been as close to another human being as I was in that moment. Both of us were laying our hearts down for the other to see in a way that I'd never experienced before, not paralleled by any time I shared with Ritsuko. This was raw emotion, untouched by words that may cloud and distort the message.

Of course, Sentarou didn't let himself stay vulnerable like that for long. After just a few minutes he pulled away from me and quickly wiped under his eyes. He didn't say anything, but he pulled me down onto the bench next to him. I think he just wanted to know that I was there. I don't know how long we sat there before I fell asleep, but the next thing I remember is waking up alone. A sheet had been draped over me, but he was gone.

And that was the last I saw of him for eight years. His tears were the only thing that I was left with, and even that was only a memory that faded with time like any other.

…

At first I thought about him constantly. Every day, my chest would ache to see his familiar face, or to hear him banging the drums in Ritsuko's basement. I kept getting my hopes up that he'd come back, every time I saw someone that remotely resembled him on the streets, or if I heard a snatch of jazz music in the wind. But in my heart I knew that he wasn't going to return. I had to accept it.

I ended up going to university in Tokyo, so I had to leave that place anyways. In a way, I was glad because I could finally turn my face away from all the places we had been together and slowly forget about them. But for the same reason I was also utterly devastated. Without even those locations left to me, I was completely letting him go. Still, I chose to do it. I had no other choice but to let him go.

Thinking about him became less painful as the years went by, and he invaded my thoughts less and less often as I had to find my own way in the world, completing medical school and becoming a doctor. At random times I would suddenly think of him and feel a slight pang in my chest, and wonder what had become of him, but I was resigned to the fact that I'd never see him again. And as I became convinced of this I unintentionally began to numb myself to the word and live my life mechanically, without feeling or passion. I just didn't care anymore.

Then Yurika showed me that photo and everything changed.

Suddenly a new emotion, one that I hadn't felt in years, stirred in me as I dropped everything and went to go find him; hope. Nothing seemed to matter except that I reach the person in the photograph and that it really be him. For if it wasn't Sentarou, or I wasn't able to find him, I don't think I would be able to stand the disappointment. I don't know if I could force myself to go back to my regular life. But my confidence grew as I got closer and stories the locals told of a young priest in training began to sound almost familiar, like I'd heard them before.

I nearly cried out in relief when I found that drum set in the church. Because they could belong to nobody else. I knew what I had to do now. I sat down at the organ and began to play that song that started it all, _Moanin'_ and then there he was. As if he'd never been gone. He picked up right where we left off. We played off each other's music. The way he played was so familiar and yet it was different, it was new and exciting for me to discover these changes. The way he responded to me I'm sure he felt the same way. We were so focused that we hardly noticed the children that came to watch and listen. But when the priest came in and Sentarou looked at me, I knew what he was thinking before he even said it.

We left that church running, stumbling, surging down the slope in front of us. I don't think we could have been stopped by anything. I was laughing even though I felt like falling to my knees and crying, because suddenly everything felt worth it. I was happy to be there.

…

"I still can't believe I found you," I murmured.

"How many times are you going to say that?" Sentarou teased from beside me.

I glanced over at him, taking in his form with hungry eyes. He looked so much like he did as a teenager, and yet so different. His eyes were just as bright and full of life, but they were calmer and not quite so restless. His hair seemed to be a little more well-behaved, though it had fallen from the slicked back style that he'd been wearing earlier in the day. The scar on his cheek had faded slightly since his younger days, and he didn't look like he'd been in any fights in a long time. Hardly a surprise, considering he was a priest in training. Right now he was smiling and his cheeks were flushed from the drinks we had shared earlier in the evening when Ritsuko had been with us. But she had her own life and responsibilities now, so she couldn't stay the night like I was.

We were stretched out on two futon in Sentarou's room, a small space at the top of the orphanage. It was dark, but I could see him, propped up on his elbow to look at me, by the moonlight coming in through the window. He'd insisted on sleeping beside me instead of on the bed in the corner, which I'd been secretly glad about. I felt like a kid on a sleepover, ready to stay up the whole night talking and sharing our thoughts.

Except the mood here was slightly tense, not at all easy and fun like a child's sleepover. We'd exhausted a long list of trivial topics and jokes and had fallen into silence. Neither of us had brought up the subject I most wanted to talk about, because we were afraid of what would be said. Nonetheless, I had to know.

"Why did you leave, Sen?" I asked quietly. "Or…why didn't you come back?"

The smile fell from his face. "I thought you, of all people, would understand that I couldn't stay. I didn't belong in my house anymore, and I was hurting the people I cared about-"

"Don't you think it hurt when you left?" I snapped, trying to keeping my voice low but failing miserably. I couldn't help it. I was happy to see him again, but that didn't erase all the _pain_ I'd felt in his absence, and he needed to understand that.

His brow furrowed and his voice was just as fierce as mine when he responded. "What about me? I was giving up _you_ as well. Do you think it was easy? Do you think I didn't regret it every single day? I didn't _want_ to leave you all behind."

I could feel my eyes stinging, but I blinked back tears. I was a grown man, for God's sake. I cleared my throat and asked steadily, "So then why did you do it?"

"I already-"

"_Really_?"

He stared at me for a good minute before heaving a sigh. "Look at yourself, Bo," he said. "You went to university and now you're a successful doctor. And I found a place where I belong, with these kids, in this church. You were better off without me, don't you see?"

I shook my head, and this time I didn't even try to stop the tear from forming in the corner of my eye. He still didn't get it. My voice sounded harsh as I whispered, "Today was the first time I was happy in eight years, Sen."

He just looked at me with those perfect, wide eyes of his, surprised. Hadn't he realized? Hadn't he _realized_ how important he was to me? How much I _needed_ him? I couldn't stop the flood of emotion now. I moved a bit closer to him and pressed my face against his chest before the tears started in full.

He pulled me against him and let me cry, just like I'd done for him so long ago. My body molded against his and he held me tightly. I sobbed and bawled like a child, with no restraint. It was the first time I'd cried in years, the first time I let myself feel anything for so long. But the moment I had opened my heart to let Sentarou back in, all the pain and sadness I'd kept repressed had come bubbling back to the surface. And it felt good to let it out and feel his arms around me, solid and reassuring. Even after the tears had slowed and all but disappeared, several minutes later, he didn't let go. He loosened his grip slightly and let me readjust myself, to get more comfortable, but never even gave me a chance to leave his side. I wasn't even on my own futon anymore, but had been dragged over to his.

Then there was silence. The window was open and I could hear the sounds of insects buzzing in the summer air, and I could both feel and hear Sentarou's breath, but other than that I didn't hear a single thing. I thought that he must have fallen asleep, he was so quiet.

I was beginning to feel tired myself, but first I wanted to stop and appreciate this moment. I took in the sounds, the smells, the textures around me and tried to commit them to memory. For all I knew, he would disappear for another eight years and I wouldn't get this opportunity again anytime soon. But if I had any say in the matter, I wouldn't be leaving him. He'd have to run away in the middle of the night if he wanted to escape me again. And this time, I'd follow him.

I finally closed my eyes and was lulled by the steady rising and falling of his chest into a kind of trance, close to sleep. But even through the haze of my mind as I began slipping towards sleep, I could hear Sentarou's voice whisper into the dark. "I'm sorry, Kaoru."

I buried my face into his shirt and fell asleep smiling. Here, beside him once more, I just felt like…I belonged. For the first time since he'd left, I felt like I belonged somewhere.

* * *

**I'm considering continuing this and possibly moving it in a slightly more romantic direction, but I'd like some reviews or comments (on here or on tumblr) to see if anyone's interested. I think it's a fairly small fandom, so I'm not expecting much, but anyone? Any thoughts? And did you like it? : D**


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